More… of the same!

I started this post a week ago and it was kept as a draft after having to leave it and take care of some pressing business I am sure at that time.

We’re already 1/3 in the month of January and things have not been this difficult and troubled in a very long time. Just when people were eager to leave 2009 behind, I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to let go but I did not have a choice. Little did I know what was just around the corner.

It is difficult not thinking about how bad the economy is and how precarious jobs are these days. People are so uptight, it is harder and harder to speak one’s mind without the risk of being accused of being politically incorrect. Scientists are screaming about global warming and Florida is breaking low temperature records and most probably the citrus crop or most of it will be lost. And more. And more. And more…

It sure was looking good from the other side of the fence, the dream that millions of people have every year: make it to the USA and live the American dream. Sometimes, I wonder if it was worth it. And some other times, I do not see one place in the Caribbean where we could have settled down and be happy. At least here we can provide for the children, make sure they have everything they need and much more. Spoiled rotten. Maybe it was the story I was telling my daughter about Christmas in the Dominican Republic back then when I was a child; maybe it is this gut feeling that’s eating me alive. Who knows? Who cares?

Twenty-Ten is here and it is new. I really hope things change for the best. Soon.

Till then…

Did you really notice anything different?

2010 is here. New year, new decade and hopes of a better tomorrow. Three days into it and nothing, absolutely nothing is different. Gee, who would have thunk it…

I did not make any resolutions for this new year. Every year it’s the same thing. Make resolutions that are abandoned in no time and feeling guilty about it. Forget it. I have enough to deal with right now than having to add the extra pressure. We’ll deal with issues and deadlines as they come along.

All in all the holidays went pretty well. The kids had their share of presents, we ate and drank and tried to enjoy the holidays. I wish I had taken some time off but with the family being home too, I don’t think I could have rested much. I do feel the need for a break and I am pondering if I am not going to take a few days off at the end of the month and go somewhere. One of my resolutions a couple of years ago was to take a week off and go see my friends in France. Of course, that never happened and I doubt it will happen this year.

Last night, my friend Cha invited us for dinner and she told me about her “resolution”. She is giving her business 2 years to get somewhere or she will “pop the pills and go to sleep”. I don’t honestly believe that she would do such a thing, but then who knows exactly? And she always seemed so strong.

So tomorrow it’s back to work and back to school. The SU had 2 weeks like the kids and I bet it will be harder for her than it will be for me. But I am at least happy that the holidays are over.

Sigh.

Happy New Year.

Till then…

Past imperfect

The first decade of the 21st century is in a coma. Doctors are quite pessimistic about  the chances of survival, but there is no need to worry, a replacement has already been designated and is ready to step in as soon as 2009 will have expired.

I have heard and read lots of people begging for this year to be over. Granted, for many the last decade or last few years or even this past year has been synonymous of hardship and pain. 9/11, the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the depression, the Bush years, all strong moments that have left deep, lasting traces in the minds and hearts of many Americans.

And yet, strangely enough, I have to say that the past 10 years have been the most productive and prolific years of my life. I was back in this country after spending 18 years in an almost vegetative state back home. I was able to start from the very bottom and work my way up the ladder to a position that, far from being perfect, allows me to pay the bills and have a rather decent life. I was blessed with two wonderful kids that are my life and my inspiration. I was able to break the walls around me and start fresh and have many reasons to be grateful.

Everything is not all rosy, of course. There are still long pending issues that never seem to be resolved. There are many differences in culture, education and more and it is not easy dealing with those issues. There are also worries about the children: are they going to be ok? Will we have saved enough money to be able to send them to college? Will I live long enough to see them graduate, to see them get married, to get to play with my grand-children. And many other questions that I am sure you ask yourself late at night when in bed and can’t sleep.

Yes, the single-digit years of the 21st century have been a reminder for some, a wake-up call for others that times are a-changin’ and nothing has to be taken for granted anymore. Some said we lost our innocence on 9/11/01. I want to believe we were born-again and ready to do great things. I don’t know what is going to happen during the next decade, but I sure wish and hope it will be a grand and magnificent time.

Wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy New Year 2010.

Till then…

Another try

A while ago, I had downloaded the WordPress app for Blackberry on my previous phone and had started writing a post that never made it. I now have a new phone and I downloaded the app again so I hope this time I’ll use it more often.

Till then…

‘Twas, ‘Twas…

It is Christmas Eve and in a few minutes, it will be the climax of 3 good weeks of planning and shopping so we can feel good and make sure everyone around us is happy with a present.

I am done with the shopping and the wrapping. There is one purchase still AWOL. With some luck, it will show up on Saturday. If not, it will be next week.

Dinner tonight was simple. Shrimp cocktail, egg noodles with fried salmon, ham and a yule cake for dessert. Although work was painfully slow today, I felt so tired coming home I almost didn’t cook anything. My daughter and my wife were happy with the food so that did feel nice. The leg of lamb is already seasoned and will be stuck in the oven around mid-morning.

Yes, everything sounds nice and idyllic. And yet…

All the news I could read today was some drama somewhere. A family lost their house to a fire. A father killed his 15-month old son and 4-year old daughter before committing suicide on his motorcycle. A 3-year old was able to start his dad’s car and roll over his 4-month old sister that was sitting in a baby seat outside the car. And more, and more and more. How could I feel good knowing there are children in war-torn countries that will not have a gift under a tree and the greatest gift might be to make it through the day without dying or losing a member of her family. And how about the truckers from Arrow Trucking Co. whom all lost their jobs 3 days before Christmas and some are stranded thousands of miles from their homes because the company canceled their gas cards and they can’t make it to their destination? They are not even sure to see a paycheck. Merry Christmas to you.

Yes, my kids are going to wake up in a few hours and run downstairs to a bunch of toys. Yes, they will enjoy their toys and be happy and I will be happy seeing them happy. But under all that happiness, am I really happy?

Bah, humbug. Merry Christmas anyway.

Till then…

Ho! Ho! Ho!

‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas. Late in the night, thinking about the last things needed for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner and Christmas Day lunch. Making a list, checking it twice before leaving it for the SU to go and get the stuff.

‘Twas also the time where I was thinking about the presents, what was ordered, what came in, what is still out there. Wishing that the last package will make it in time sometime tomorrow during the day. Another gift to wrap up. More frustrating minutes trying to get it right or at least not wasting more wrapping paper.

‘Twas too the night where I forgot to play the PowerBall and get a chance to win the $106 million jackpot. The lotto site says “coming soon”, so I don’t know if some people will have a very Merry Christmas or if we get another shot at it Saturday.

‘Twas a little the moment of reflection, thinking about those who are not here whether because of the distance, because of the ended friendship or because they passed away. Christmas has changed for me because of the joy it brings to my children but not too far are the demons that keep haunting me after all these years. But the good thing is that I am less and less bothered by that, either because again of the children or because I don’t have enough hours during the day to be bothered by old memories.

Well, it is officially midnight, so it is now the day before Christmas!

To all my friends or at least for those of you who keep reading this blog, may you have a wonderful Christmas!

Till then…

No Thanksgiving for you

So here we are again with Thanksgiving. Turkey time, family gathering, football and tutti quanti. As I have said many times in the past, there is something about that holiday that we can’t really relate to. And because of that, it is difficult to see past the more visual symbols.

In the past, I have, as usual, slaved in the kitchen to have a Thanksgiving dinner on the table. Only to hear my daughter say that she does not like turkey and the SU not eating because she is not hungry. And so the bird would end up in the refrigerator and be thrown away a week later barely untouched.

This year, I am on-call. It is a blessing in disguise since I have to be available at any time if I am called. That also means no keeping an eye on the turkey in the oven or preparing the stuffing or other stuff. But it could also be the quietest day of the year. So, this having been said, nothing has been prepared for tomorrow. Not even a turkey breast or something ordered somewhere to be picked up or delivered. But when something closer to home like Diwali does not suscitate any more interest than that, it is understandable that other traditions or celebrations are grossly overlooked.

Anyway, putting aside the turkey dinner and the football and the nonexistent family, I still want to list the reasons why I am grateful this year.

• I am grateful for my two beautiful and darling children. They are the fuel to my life and the main reason why I keep going on.
• I am grateful for my very demanding job. I choose to get into that field and as much as they are times things are really frustrating, it is also gratifying knowing that my hard work and dedication is part of what help others save lives on a daily basis.
• I am also grateful that I have that job which allows me to have a roof over our heads, put meals on the table and pay bills.
• I am grateful for having such a wonderful mother, who put up with all my horrors when I was younger and who is finally learning how to use a computer to be more in touch with me.
• I am very grateful to have such wonderful friends. As my dear friend Dee says “friends are the family we choose”. She is absolutely right and in more than one occasion, friends have been more present than members of my family. Such is life and I will leave it at that.
• Last but not least, I am very grateful to have Jay as my friend. We’ve had our ups and downs, our bad times and good times and yet we are there for each other. Thank you Jay and I love you very much.

So go and be merry. Enjoy your time with your family and think of the reasons why you are grateful this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Till then…

P.S.: No, it was done intentionally. It is not being forgetful or a typo. The omission is totally voluntary.

And quite frankly, why would they care about my business anymore?

Last summer, I went on a trip to the Dominican Republic. I had paid off a big chunk of my debt on a CitiBank credit card to pay for my expenses but I knew I would not be back home in time to pay the bill and so I left instructions to the SU to make a payment to the credit card when my paycheck was going to be credited to our account. She messed up the payment and I tried to catch it in time but a snowball of epic proportions prevented that and my APR went through the roof at 29.99%. No matter how much we called and pleaded, they would not bulge on my oldest credit card, no matter the fact that I had that credit card for 9 years. For a whole year, my APR was going to be 29.99% unless I was able to show that I was a good payer and that they could trust me once again.

I figured that after a few months of paying more than the minimum and some unlubricated back hole pounding, they would relent and lower the APR a bit especially since the holidays are approaching. But that was without counting on CitiBank’s humor. A couple of weeks ago, I received a letter from CitiBank saying that my 29.99% APR was becoming my definitive APR. Just now, just before the holidays, I am branded as an untouchable. “Go play with the others. We don’t care about you and don’t need your business. We already got your money, so who cares about you?” It was nice when all those dicks went crying to Capitol Hill asking for billions of our dollars to bail them out when they could not manage their business properly. It was nice when the government had to help them and bail them out because “they were too big to fail” while us, hard-working, decent American tax-paying citizens are held hostage by a bunch of thieves in suits. Of course now they don’t need our money so they will not try to sweeten the deal and give us a break. What for? “We can do very well without your few thousand dollars. Go get a Discover card!”

So, after being a customer for 9 years, someone in India closed my account without trying to negotiate a thing. It was a great card and I was happy with it but this is way too much.

Cheers, CitiBank and thank you for nothing.

Til then…

Who the fcuk is being the fcuking hypocrite here?

Rep. Patrick Kennedy has been banned from receiving the Holy Communion according to a MSNBC story found here. The Rhode Island bishop  forbade Kennedy from receiving Communion within the Diocese of Providence, which covers Rhode Island, but he cannot stop Kennedy from receiving Communion elsewhere.

Why?

Because of Rep. Kennedy’s stand on abortion.

We’re a decade into the XXIst century and the Catholic Church is being inflexible on things that have greatly changed since the beginning of times and yet the Catholic Church cannot find a way to keep the pedophile priests in their ranks from raping and abusing children. They are pointing and singling out people who are working to make things better, to be more open and progressive but nothing is being done to punish the ones who have ruined thousands of lives. All the innocent people putting their trust in these people’s hands only to suffer from what they were supposed to be shielded from. Who’s the fcuking hypocrite? “Do what I say but don’t do what I do”? Bull! Let them start cleaning inside their own house before pointing, punishing and being holier-than-thou.

I am Catholic but the more it goes, the less I feel close to what they say. Which is a problem since I have a child who is in age now to start her religious education and I find it hard to begin talking to her with all this animosity I have for my own religion right now.

*sigh*

Till then…

 

 

 

The perplexity of a stupid question

I overheard a conversation last week between a man and a lesbian and they were talking about dancing and the man was going to be present to the party only if he could have a dance with her and she gladly accepted. Am I the only one to find this awkward? I’ve asked a few people and they do not find it strange, so I guess I am the retarded one…

Till then…